IoPT Book Club

Warm welcome

Upcoming IoPT Book Club meetings, online, 3 – 5 pm CET/Amsterdam time (2 – 4 pm UK time):

  • Tuesday 28th February 2023
  • Tuesday 28th March 2023
  • Tuesday 25th May 2023

28th of February will be about: chapter 7.5 Trauma of Sexuality (pages 182 – 202) & 7.6 Trauma of Becoming a Perpetrator (pages 202 – 204)


The meeting on 17th of January 2023 was about the Trauma of Love. We shared the sentences which stood out for us in this chapter. You will find them below. We adressed some questions and at the end there was an opportunity for one person to do a short ‘I-exercise’ (setting an intention and one other person goes into resonance with one of the elements, an exercise for about 10/15 minutes).

The sentences which stood out for us in the chapter about the Trauma of Love:

“The silent question of the unborn child: Do you love me?” (page 174)

“The child does not have an adult intellect to make sense of his parents’ actions” (page 175)

“The illusions that accompany not being loved principally orient around the child’s unlovableness, and set the child on a never-ending journey to prove himself lovable, and correct whatever seems to bar the way to being loved by the mother.”( page 177)

“I = YOU”

“The solution to the Trauma of love is to come to love yourself.”

“as the mother’s psyche is split, so her heart is split also.”

“For the newly created child, love is natural; it is his force of life and his overwhelming impulse to connect with the first and most important person in his life, his mother.”

“he is constantly looking outside of himself for a life source, a loving mother of some kind…”

“In addition to the inevitability outlined above of the trauma caused by the lack of love from the mother child, this trauma does at least distract the person from the devastating and insoluble reality of not being wanted in the first place.” 177-178


Book club meeting: in general we start with a check in, we sometimes go into break-out rooms (3 to 4 person per room) and sometime we stay in the main room when the group is small and we talk about a sentence what stood out for you in the concerning chapter, after that we return to the main room and we can share what we learned. In the second half of the meeting we can bounce thoughts about some statements/sentences/questions which comes up from the concerning chapter. We can do this in the main room (or eventually in break out rooms, whatever is preferable), or we can do a, for the topic relevant, exercise.

The meetings are once a month, on a Tuesday, always from 3 to 5 pm CET. The zoom room is open from 2.45 pm CET.

It feels important for me to share that you are warmly invited to engage as much or as little as feels right for you in the moment. And please feel free to read as much or as little as feels right. For me this feels like the best way to gain out of the Book club what is relevant and working for me and hopefully for you too. My experience is that we all benefit and learn from each other when we can just be who we are in the moment.

Please send your questions/statements/topics which you would love to discuss max. 1 week before the meeting so I can join them together and send them to you all by email. For more information or any feedback please feel free to reach out to Nanneke at welkom@hetwarezelfinzicht.nl Warm welcome.